


tales from the kingdom of faerghus

by JazzApples



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Minor Violence, Parody, and therefore it is my solemn duty to inflict this unholy creation upon you all, because the only person who asked for this is me, gloryhammer au, parody of a parody, purely self indulgent, yes i cannot believe i actually typed that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzApples/pseuds/JazzApples
Summary: Oh no! The dark lord Nemesis has invaded the mighty citadel of Dundee with his army of undead unicorns, and had kidnapped the beautiful prince Claude! Whatever is the valiant and noble prince Dimitri to do?
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	tales from the kingdom of faerghus

_And lo! On this fateful day, the mighty citadel of Dundee was assailed by the dark lord Nemesis and his army of corrupted, undead unicorns! The city was defenceless against such a terrible attack, and Dundee was pillaged and burned, the peasants slaughtered in the streets. And when all hope was lost, Nemesis himself rode in to install himself on the crystalline throne as lord of all the lands of Dundee, taking prisoner the fair prince Claude and freezing him in ice. Now, there is only one who free the once mighty citadel, and free its people…_

* * *

With the burning citadel behind him, Prince Dimitri rode south from the lands of Dundee and through the night, into Fife with the daybreak. He was exhausted, and his helplessness during the invasion only fuelled his rage, and he swore that he would defeat the dark lord and do whatever it took to liberate the citadel. But first, he must rest and plan. 

And so, he rode south to Glenrothes, where its trees would shield and protect him. With the sunset, he arrived in the clearing of the grove, and when he dismounted his horse and lay down on the grass, he slept immediately.

He dreamt a strange dream that night; in his dream he knew that to defeat the dark lord, he must collect three sacred artefacts. First he saw a land covered in snow up north, then some wooded land down south, and then a loch in the shadow of a mountain. He woke up that morning under the trees with a distinct feeling that his quest had some kind of… godly approval? Whatever entity had shown him this vision, Dimitri had the distinct feeling that they were waiting for him to defeat Nemesis and would be watching intently, possibly with snack food in hand.

And with his plan in mind. Dimitri cleaned up and mounted his horse again, with the north his destination.

* * *

A few days later, covered in snow, Dimitri thought back to the evening sun filtering through the trees in Glenrothes fondly. He had always considered himself to be resistant to cold weather, but the north was _absolutely freezing_. The only positive thought he had, as he led his horse through the snow banks toward the mountain ranges, was that at least the shrine housing the artefact wouldn’t be far off now, and he could take a break from slaying the hordes of monsters trying to attack him at every turn.

Dimitri left his horse at the base of the mountain and made the climb alone, as he was sure that the horse wouldn’t appreciate being dragged up a steep mountain. Dimitri also didn’t appreciate being dragged up a steep mountain, but the shrine was in a cave at the top, according to his vision, so, for the good of Dundee, he must do it. 

When he finally made it to the top, he spent a good five minutes taking shelter from the snow outside, only after which he made an effort to see just what the artefact was. As he approached the shrine, he could see on it some kind of weapon. This was off to a good start, Dimitri privately thought, if this was a weapon capable of killing the dark lord. Upon closer inspection, the weapon was revealed to be a warhammer of some kind; a long shaft with a large double sided head, perfect for crushing. This presented a problem. Dimitri had no experience in using weapons such as hammers and axes. How long would it take to learn to use a warhammer in battle? 

Then, as if sensing Dimitri’s thoughts, sudden movement caught Dimitri’s eye at the shrine. No longer was there a hammer lying there, but a glaive, appearing to be made of some strange, alien material. Dimitri picked it up and examined it. It was not metal, to be sure, but its edge was sharp and was sturdy when he tapped it. Dimitri smiled; this he would use for sure. He could sense the weapon’s power immediately in his hand; the dark lord wouldn’t know what was coming.

Now, to get down the mountain again…

* * *

As Dimitri made his way down south again, glaive in tow, he pondered the location of the second artefact. All he could make out from the vision was that it was somewhere down south, which wasn’t of any help. Dimitri despaired of the idea of combing the whole of the southern regions in search of whatever it was he was supposed to find, and how long it would take. However…

Dimitri looked around his surroundings, taking in the landmarks. Yes, those were the Cairngorms in the distance. He had heard tell of a village of wizards who lived in those peaks. Maybe they could use their mysterious magics to guide his way to the second artefact…

Destination settled, Dimitri spurred his horse on to climb more mountains.

* * *

Deep in the Cairngorms now, Dimitri led his horse, on the lookout for anything that could be called a village or anywhere wizards might live. So far, nothing, save for mist.

Still, he kept walking, although his hopes dwindled with every step. Eventually, after what seemed like hours of walking and he finally started to wonder if the rumours were nothing but fiction, a voice called out from the mists before him.

“What do you come here for?” spoke the voice.

Overcoming his shock, Dimitri spoke back. “I have travelled far in search of the wizards who live here. I would request their help on my journey.” He replied.

The voice was silent. Then, the shift of rocks of someone walking. Slowly, a shape appeared in the mists, and then appeared from it. To his surprise, it was a young, white haired girl.

“Well then, you come to the right place.” She said, and turned and walked off, clearly expecting him to follow.

She led him through the rocks and they soon emerged into the village proper. All around him, heads were popping out of quaint little huts and cottages. A redhead, a long haired brunette, one with carefully pinned blue hair, one veiled; all were watching with curiosity and interest.

The white haired girl stopped and turned around to face him. “Well, here we are.” She said. “Whatever it is you request, I’m sure one of us here can help you.”

Trying to ignore the gazes of the curious wizards boring into the back of his skull, Dimitri spoke. “I have had a vision of an artefact I must find, and all I know of its location is that it is south of here in some kind of forest. I would ask your aid in divining where I must go.”

The white haired girl frowned, tapping her chin. “Hmm… I can go get my scrying stuff out, and you can describe to me exactly what you saw. We should be able to divine just what you need to do.” She turned to one of the cottages. “Help me out, will you Annette?”

The redhead grinned. “Sure thing!”

As Annette scurried off to get out the scrying equipment, the white haired girl turned back to Dimitri. “Now there’s just the matter of payment.”

Before the panic could truly set in of _just what does a wizard want as payment_ she continued. “We will accept cake, desserts, or any manner of sweet treats.”

Dimitri blinked. She stared back. She was utterly serious. “Um.” Dimitri began. “I can’t say I have any cake on me now, but I could happily bake you some, if you could lend me the use of a kitchen.”

“Then it is settled.” She held out her hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Dimitri reached out and shook it. “Come then, let us start.”

She turned around and started heading towards one of the cottages, presumably hers. Dimitri followed after her through the doorway. Annette was there, setting up a crystal ball, along with several wands, on the kitchen table. She looked up as Dimitri entered and grinned, while the white haired girl sat down at the table and started tapping the ball with various magic wands.

“Here, sit down!” she pulled up a chair for him. “Don’t you worry about a thing! Lysithea is great at this stuff!”

The girl, Lysithea, was busy frowning into the crystal ball, currently still clouded over. “Forests down south you say?” Dimitri nodded. “Hmm… tell me more of this vision you had.”

Dimitri explained. “I had a dream which told me I must find three artefacts. One, which I have now, was in a shrine at the top of a mountain. One, which I search for now, was in a forest down south, and the third showed me a loch in the shadow of a mountain.”

As he talked and Lysithea’s glare intensified at the crystal ball, the fog in it cleared, and slowly an image was revealed. A forest, in it a chapel with a large stained glass window casting red light onto the ground below. And, sleeping there, a large white dragon.

Annette’s eyebrows threated to escape her forehead. “Wow! The artefact is the dragon?”

“Hm.” Lysithea tapped the crystal ball again, and it zoomed out. “Looks to me like you’ll need to convince that dragon to help you. Now to find where it is…”

Annette peered into the crystal ball. “Huh. That town over there. That looks like Glasgow. Maybe that forest is in Strathclyde somewhere?”

“Well, this is certainly a start. Now I have somewhere to look at least.” Dimitri said. He turned to Annette and Lysithea. “Thank you, truly, for your help. I will gladly bake the best of cakes for you.”

“Then let’s get to it!” Lysithea stood up and took a measuring scale out of a cupboard. “Annette, grab the sugar. The more the merrier!”

Dimitri spent that afternoon baking cakes with wizards. The end result was decent enough, and sickly sweet, although Lysithea seemed to like it that way. Dimitri found himself smiling a lot that afternoon. As he waved the wizards goodbye that evening, he found he didn’t regret the use of that time at all.

* * *

Walking in the deep forests of Strathclyde with his horse and his glaive, Dimitri searched for the chapel and the dragon. People liked to call Dimitri charming and charismatic, and while he may not always agree, he hoped that this belief in him would carry him through a conversation with a dragon and out the other side at least intact, and hopefully with a dragon on his side.

It was approaching night as he saw the silhouette of the chapel before him; the favoured time for monsters to attack. He kept on the lookout as he entered through the doorway to find the dragon. Checking the shadows on both side of the doorway, he spotted the monstrous beast just in time to throw up the shaft of his weapon before it could claw his face off.

He had to act quickly so the beast wouldn’t get the jump on him again. He stepped in with a jab, which the beast blocked with its claws, using the position to kick its legs out from under it. While the beast stumbled and tried to right itself, he speared it through its midsection, and the battle was over.

Shaking the thing off his glaive, he turned to find the white dragon watching him from its place under the stained glass window, its snow white scales bathed in red moonlight. It was much bigger in person. Dimitri became very aware that he was carrying a powerful weapon and that he had just waltzed into the dragon’s home with nary a please or thank you. Its claws were wickedly sharp and it had long curled ram-like horns that Dimitri could imagine skewering him. Just a hint of teeth glinted in its mouth.

“Well, mortal?” the dragon spoke. “To what end have you come here for?”

“Oh mighty dragon,” Dimitri began, voice audibly shaky, “I come to request your aid and power for a dire situation. Will you not hear me out?”

The dragon rested its head on its forepaws, eye fixed upon him, as if waiting. Dimitri continued, feeling slightly faint.

“A terrible dark lord has captured the mighty citadel of Dundee, slaughtering many people there and capturing the prince. I quest so that I may gain the power and force to defeat the dark lord Nemesis-”

At the mention of the name, the dragon sat up, eye wide with raging fury. “Nemesis?! Why that- I’ll kill him this time!” Its nostrils flared, and Dimitri became increasingly worried that the dragon would breathe fire and he would become a charcoal stain on the ground. Finally, however, the dragon seemed to calm a fraction, enough to remember that he was there. “I am no friend to Nemesis.” The dragon said. “You need not convince me to help you. I will go with you gladly.”

Dimitri sighed inwardly with relief. “Thank you, oh glorious dragon.” He said. “When do you wish to depart?”

“Now would be good.” The dragon raised itself up on its legs. “Climb on. I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”

* * *

After unloading his horse of its saddlebags and turning it free (hopefully it would make it to the next town without being eaten by monsters) Dimitri and the dragon set off to find the last artefact. 

“A loch in the shadow of a mountain.” He had told it. The dragon hummed in thought.

“Loch Rannoch stands in the shadow of Schiehallion. We will go there.” It said.

Dimitri slept fitfully that night on the dragon’s back, half afraid that he’d slip off in his sleep and the dragon wouldn’t care enough to catch him. In his dreams he saw Claude and his smouldering smile. They were dancing beneath the cold light of the moon and stars and at the end of the night Claude had kissed him. Dimitri woke up in the grey predawn with his mood souring immediately. He wondered when he would see Claude again. He wondered if he would see Claude again alive.

With the sunrise they arrived at the shores of Loch Rannoch. Its waters were calm and clear, Schiehallion’s majestic peak shading the loch from the sunlight. The dragon lifted a forepaw and pointed one claw at its depths. “This must be what you are looking for.” It said.

Dimitri followed the claw to where it was pointing. Through the clear waters he could make out something lying in the depths. It looked like an amulet, seemingly blue and red in colouration. 

“I have heard tell of this amulet.” The dragon continued. “They say it can break curses and nullify powerful spells. This could be useful in breaking the spell of undeath on the unicorns, and for freeing the prince.”

Nodding, Dimitri started stripping his cloak and armour. The dragon’s tone turned to one of confusion. “ What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? Getting that amulet.” He replied before jumping into the loch.

It was not long after dawn. The night before had not exactly been warm, and the sun had not yet had time to warm the water, not least with the peak of Schiehallion getting in the way. All of this crossed Dimitri’s mind as the freezing cold of the water hit his body. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea.

Dimitri felt something around his midsection then, and then he was being dragged out of the water and onto the shore again. He lay shivering there as the dragon loomed over him, exasperated look on its face like a disappointed mother, making him feel monumentally stupid.

“That was monumentally stupid.” Said the dragon. Dimitri watched as the dragon flapped its massive wings and hovered over the water, sending ripples over the loch. Reaching out one paw, it reached into the lake, dropping closer and closer to the surface until it was partially submerged. Then, it flapped its wings and ascended from the lake, a glint of metal in its claw.

The dragon dropped the amulet in front of Dimitri and settled back down on the shore, looking at him in a way that made Dimitri feel embarrassed. “There you go.”

Up close, the amulet was a reddish stone, set in a sapphire blue enamelled piece on a gold chain set with blue stones. It was truly beautiful. Dimitri dried it with his cloak and hung it around his neck underneath his clothes.

“Thank you.” He told the dragon honestly.

“Think nothing of it.” It replied. “Are you ready now to kill Nemesis?”

“There is one thing I have to do first.” He said.

* * *

The fortress of Crail was an imposing structure, easily standing out from the rest of the fishing village. And yet, in its own way, it was beautiful. With the towering gates, high fortifications and battlements, complete with giant eagles wheeling over the walls and the deep moat, there was a reason it was known as the jewel of Fife.

Dimitri and the dragon landed before the gates and waited to be greeted. Shortly after, a giant eagle swooped down to land beside him, its rider dismounting.

“Hail to you, Ingrid.” Dimitri called out to the knight.

Ingrid followed his voice and ran over to him as his dismounted. “Your Highness!” she cried out. “We had no news of your fate! When we heard of the attack on Dundee we could only assume the worst.” She wrapped her arms around him then. “I am glad to see that you are safe.”

“Thank you, Ingrid.” Dimitri replied softly.

She released him and then immediately punched his arm. He clutched at it, staring at her in confusion. 

“What were you thinking?” she yelled. “Everyone was so worried about you, the least you could have done was let us know you were okay! By the Goddesses, we were planning a memorial service!”

“I swear Ingrid, I have an explanation!” Dimitri tried to placate her, feeling flustered. “I really need to see El right now, I swear I will explain everything to both of you then.”

Ingrid narrowed her eyes, but stepped back. “I hold you to that.” She said. “Come with me and get freshened up. I’ll get someone to take care of your…” she eyed the dragon warily, “uh…noble dragon? The hospitality of Crail is open to you.”

* * *

Dimitri sat in the office of his step sister Edelgard, the Grandmaster of the Knights of Crail. Along with him sitting at her conference table was Ingrid, who had made him a fish sandwich and promptly made herself one too. Some things hadn’t changed.

The doors of the office opened, and Edelgard stepped in. When her eyes landed on him she paused, and something within her gaze went soft.

“Oh Dima,” she breathed, “It’s good to see you are alive.”

“I’m glad to see you to, El.” He stood up and they grasped arms. “I have so much to tell you both.”

Edelgard smiled. “So I imagine. I’ve been told that a dragon is our guest. I assume there is a great story behind that.”

“Of course.” And he told them then of his quest and of his dream vision, and of the capture of Dundee, and in turn Edelgard and Ingrid told him of the political and martial situation since the fall of the citadel.

“Nemesis is using Dundee as his stronghold, and has holed himself up in the highest crystal spire. He sends his dread forces and the unicorns out to annex more towns and cities by the day. The Knights of Crail have managed to successfully defend Dunkeld and Cowdenbeath from the forces of chaos, but more cities are lost every day.” Edelgard explained. “We are only so many. We cannot keep up. At this rate, all of the lands of Dundee and Fife will be lost to us.”

“Then we need to make a move now.” He had caught their attention. “I plan to attack Nemesis in his tower directly and end this as soon as I can. But I will need a favour from you.”

“What do you ask?” said Edelgard.

“To draw out his forces, so the way is clear for me. Your knights have been harassing him for so long, I am sure he will jump at the chance to be rid of you if you give him the opportunity.”

“So we’re bait then.” Edelgard sat back and crossed her arms, thinking.

“It’s true that he wouldn’t be able to resist… and we will have our pick of the battlefield…” mused Ingrid, tapping half of a sandwich while lost in thought.

“It’s risky.” Said Edelgard. “But it’s a calculated risk. “If we muster all our forces at once, we should be able to stand a chance against his army as long as you don’t take too long about it. It’s mostly the unicorns I’m worried about anyway, so the sooner you free them, the better.” Edelgard stood up and put her hands down on the desk. “It’s settled then. We fly to Dunfermline for our battlefield, and we will begin our attack tomorrow at dawn. Hopefully that will give you enough time to get into position.”

“This is more than enough, thank you.” Dimitri stood to embrace Edelgard, and then Ingrid for good measure. “I shall leave you to your preparations then. I wish you victory in battle.”

“Oh please,” Edelgard smirked. “We always have victory in battle. Besides, I think everyone will be very eager to give the dark lord a piece of their minds! Ingrid, scramble our knights.” Ingrid bowed her head and made her exit. “If you’ll excuse me,” she turned her head to Dimitri as she headed for the doors, “I need to go wrestle Hubert onto an eagle.”

* * *

It was just before dawn, and Dimitri was only a few miles out from Dundee. Gliding over the countryside on the dragon (who seemed very eager for the attack), he was looking out at the scenery when he saw a tiny figure on the ground waving at him and jumping up and down. Frowning, he nudged the dragon to descend, all whilst keeping a hand on his glaive.

The figure turned out to be a blue haired warrior in armour and a huge double headed battle-axe on his back. “Hey!” he shouted. “Are you going to the big attack? Can you give me a lift?”

“Um.” Said Dimitri, somewhat at a loss. “I’m sorry, if you mean the battle at Dunfermline with the Knights of Crail, I’m not going in that direction. I’m going to Dundee.”

At the mention of Dundee, the young man’s eyes grew even wider. “Woah, that’s even better! Are you going to fight the dark lord? ‘Cause I totally want to come too and kick his ass!”

Dimitri was confused. “I’m sorry, who are you, and why do you want to fight the dark lord so badly?”

The young man blinked. “Well, I’m Caspar. I just got here from Unst. I heard that there was this horrible attack on Dundee and that a dark lord had taken over and I thought ‘I can’t let some evil jerk get away with that’ and so I came to totally kick his ass. But last night I heard that there was going to be a big fight, and I love big fights, so here I am!” Still grinning, he lifted his battle-axe off his shoulder and started twirling it in anticipation. “I can help you out if you’re going to Dundee. Might need an extra pair of hands to help you beat up the dark lord.”

“…sure. Why don’t you hop on up?” Dimitri sighed inwardly. It was true, he might need backup for this. And he was also sure that telling this fellow no wouldn’t do much to deter him.

It was almost dawn. With Caspar safely situated, the dragon once again took off towards Dundee.

* * *

It was well past dawn now. Smoke was rising on the horizon, which meant that the battle at Dunfermline was well underway. With the enemy forces distracted, it wasn’t hard for Dimitri and Caspar to enter Dundee. There remained one problem though.

Dimitri stared up at the crystal palace of Dundee and the spire that Nemesis was hiding it. All around the palace was anti-air magic. The walls of the palace were high. There was no way to get to the spire without taking heavy damage, and that was a generous estimate.

The dragon had taken one look at the anti-air magic and refused to fly. “I’ll be shot out of the air before you could say ‘revenge’.” It had said. “You’ll have to find another way in and disable the magic field.”

“Okay.” Dimitri paused. “Do you happen to know of another way in, by any chance?”

The dragon was silent for a while. “No.” it said eventually.

“Huh.” Was all Dimitri had to say. Really? Was this all it took to stump him?

“Uh, guys,” Caspar raised his hand, “I think I know another way in.”

Immediately all eyes were on him. “There should be dwarven tunnels under this place.” He continued. “If we can just find an entrance, we should be able to get into the palace no problem. Seems like one of those things royals like to have at the ready to escape if need be.” He paused for a second. “Only problem is, they’re supposed to be really hard to navigate. Like, _really_ hard.”

“Well,” Dimitri shifted uncertainly. “We don’t really have any other options at the moment. Besides, how hard can it be?”

* * *

As it turns out, Dimitri thought, really hard.

He didn’t know how long he and Caspar (the dragon had remained outside) had been walking, but they seemed to be getting nowhere. He had no idea what time it was, or if the knights of Crail were faring well. He wasn’t even sure if he knew the way out.

“Y’know what?” said Caspar, breathing hard. “I think I need a break.”

They were in a large cavern now, lined with underground pools and rivers. Dimitri could have sworn he saw veins of precious metals in the walls. Maybe the dwarves cleared out when the dark lord arrived. They would have been smart to do so.

Dimitri flopped down on a rock as Caspar went to get a drink from an underground pool. As he sat however, he started to hear something. What at first he thought was the ambient sounds of the water seemed to sound like footsteps. And they were getting closer and closer…

At that point, Dimitri felt himself being prodded with a stick. In a flash, he was on his feet, glaive in hand, to face whoever else was down here.

What he got instead, however, was a young green haired man in green robes blinking blearily at him and waving a stick in his face.

“Shoo.” He said.

“…what?” was all Dimitri could say.

The young man sighed. “I said shoo. You’re on my porch making a racket, and I want to go back to sleep.”

“…your porch?” this had attracted Caspar’s attention from where he was sitting by the pool. He got up. “You live here? In a tunnel?”

“A _cave_ , thank you.” The young man huffed. “Now if you could just kindly leave…”

Before Dimitri could come back with a retort or anything else of substance that wasn’t just audible confusion, Caspar butted in. “Well, you see, we would love to leave, but we’re kinda lost. We’re trying to get into the palace actually. Don’t suppose you could lead us there mister…?”

“Linhardt”

“Mister Linhardt.” Caspar finished off with one of his infectious grins. “What do you say? We’ll be out of your hair sooner if you do.”

Linhardt still looked thoroughly unimpressed, but he was frowning in thought, which was a good sign. “If I do, can I go back to sleep?”

“Oh yeah, of course!” Caspar reassured him. “You won’t hear another peep out of us!”

Linhardt turned to Dimitri, who did his level best to look as innocent and inoffensive as possible.

“Well… alright I guess.” He sighed and lit a lantern at the end of his stick, turning away and walking off. When there seemed to be no sign of movement, he turned back towards them again. “Well?” he said. “Let’s get this over with.”

As he turned away again, Dimitri and Caspar exchanged glances, confused with bemused, and hurried after him.

* * *

Once they reached the inside of the palace, Linhardt bid his farewell, which involved him saying “Good luck, don’t die” and vanishing immediately. Dimitri decided not to dwell too much on this as he and Caspar made their way through the one mighty palace. Nemesis clearly hadn’t thought to upkeep the place, and it was already coated in a fine layer of dust, and a lot of the furniture was askew or tossed about. 

In the courtyard, they found the magical device that was powering the anti-air batteries and smashed it (courtesy of Caspar), and the dragon flew in. From there, it was one short dragon flight to the crystal spire where Nemesis awaited.

The dragon made quite the entrance, crashing through the windows and walls, breathing furious fire down upon the tower. Dimitri took this distraction to quickly slip off the dragon’s back and take in the situation.

Nemesis was surrounded by his dark followers, many of whom were trying to dodge dragon breath while attempting the counterattack. Nemesis sat back, watching his followers struggle without seeming to do anything to help them, as was typical of tyrannical evil overlords. But what really caught Dimitri’s eye was what was behind Nemesis.

There Claude stood, frozen in ice, still wearing his expression of shock. All of a sudden Dimitri’s heart ached, and he longed for all this to be over and for Claude to be with him and for everything to be at peace once more.

He nudged Caspar, who was busy watching the pyrotechnics. “Think you can help out the dragon for me and take out his followers while I take on Nemesis?”

“You got it!” Caspar whooped, already unslinging his battle-axe. He ran off, and Dimitri had time to see him slice someone in half.

Seeing as that had been sorted out, he waded through the battle to Nemesis, who watched his approach with thinly veiled boredom.

“So it’s you.” Was all he said as Dimitri stood before him. “Here to fight me for your beloved? Well, I hate to tell you that none of your mortal weapons can kill me, so by all means, throw your life away!” He spread his arms, and an unholy sword appeared in his hand, serrated and deadly.

“I think you’ll find that I’m full of surprises.” Dimitri replied, and raised his glaive. At the sight of it, Nemesis immediately recoiled.

“Where did you find that?” he said, voice wavering. “How could you know?” He glanced at the dragon, and he frowned with murderous intent. “ You’ve assembled my enemies against me. Now you must die!” And with that he lunged forward, and Dimitri met him with the edge of his glaive.

Like that they fought. Although they seemed to be evenly matched at first, Dimitri could tell this battle was taking its toll on Nemesis, who was taking increasingly numerous cuts from the glaive.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dimitri could see the battle raging on with the dark forces, a lot of whom were throwing various magics around now. Many had already been incinerated courtesy of the furious dragon, and Caspar was supplementing his axe swings with pummelling the enemy with his fists.

Dimitri could see, too, that Nemesis knew that he was losing. Nemesis stood back and growled with frustration. “You think you can defeat me?” he screamed with anger as he whipped his sword in a mad arc. Dimitri caught the blade with his glaive and twisted, and Nemesis found himself disarmed.

Dimitri pointed the tip of his glaive at Nemesis’ chest. “Give up.” He said.

Nemesis stared at it, almost going cross-eyed, before suddenly turned tail and running. Ignoring Dimitri’s indignant ‘hey!’, Nemesis ran through the battle. It was short lived, however, as a stray ice spell hit him and froze him mid stride. Everyone paused for a moment to take in what had just happened. The dark forces seemed to get over it first as, almost at once, they also all tried to run, knowing the battle was lost. Unfortunately for them, the dragon wasn’t feeling very charitable and burned them while they weren’t watching their backs. And that was the end of the epic battle for Dundee.

Now, Dimitri had just one thing left to do. Taking the amulet out from under his clothes, he walked up to Claude’s frozen form and lifted it up. He felt a powerful divine magic flow through his body, through his hand and out through the amulet, and the spire was filled with white light. And when it faded, Claude was left standing there, a bit damp and cold, but alive and well.

“Claude!” Dimitri dropped his glaive and rushed to embrace him, picking him up off his feet and twirling him around.

“Hey.” Claude chuckled and patted Dimitri on the back. “Looks like you got up to some trouble. I hope you’re going to tell me all about it.”

Dimitri put Claude down again and, with tenderness, held his face in his hands. “Of course. I missed you.” And with that, he leaned in and kissed him.

When he pulled away, Claude’s face was dark with blush (or the cold), and he smiled a real smile. “I missed you too.” Then he raised his eyebrow. “You know, I’m kind of cold. Think you could warm me up?” He waggled his eyebrows.

Dimitri laughed, and picked him up in a bridal carry. “Later, maybe.” And he turned to make his way out with his love.

* * *

_As so the dark lord Nemesis was frozen for all eternity in ice, where no more could he harm the citizens of this land. And the noble prince Dimitri held aloft the amulet, and its sacred powers freed the unicorns from their curse, spelling victory for the knights of Crail at Dunfermline that day. And the magic of the amulet freed the prince Claude from the enchanted ice to be reunited once more with his love. And cosmic balance was once again restored to the lands of Dundee. Hail to the king, and glory to Dundee!_

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it to the end of this, thank you for reading and i am so sorry xDD  
> anyway go listen to gloryhammer if only for a laugh  
> tumblr: jazzapples3


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